The sight of a slaughterhouse can make you feel uncomfortable, yet the owner of the firm might find it exciting and the person operating the machinery would find it completely normal. It is entirely dependent on the way that you have been conditioned.
A thought or an experience does not have the ability to change your emotional state just by itself. The method in which one chooses to interpret an experience or a notion is what gives rise to emotional responses. This is the reason why the same event might elicit quite diverse responses from two distinct persons. One will see it as a challenge and place the blame on external factors, while the other will view it as an opportunity that should be seized.
One will get stalled, while the other will advance. The broad beliefs you have about how life works play a significant role in determining how you make sense of specific situations. As a result of this, it is very necessary for us to investigate the underlying assumptions that led to these interpretations as our first step.
Investigating the presumptions
You needed to have some preconceived notions about how things ought to be in order to reach a certain emotional state. These presumptions make up your own experience of the world. You don’t challenge them since you are confident in your belief that they are correct. The following are some instances of assumptions that you could hold:
- It is best to steer clear of such issues.
- This presents a challenge.
- I ought to be in good shape.
- At the very least, I’ll make it to the age of seventy.
- I must get married
- Complaining is very natural.
- There is no problem with living in the past and reflecting on it.
- It is necessary for me to be concerned about the future, and/or
- I will never be content until or until (fill up the blank with your answer(s) here).
Now, let’s take a look at each of these presumptions individually:
It is best to steer clear of such issues
There are a lot of individuals that desire to escape their difficulties. But what if you are unable to, or what if there is no compelling reason for you to? It’s true that some individuals have ‘better’ difficulties than others, but the fact remains that everyone struggles with something. What if it turns out that the assumption that you shouldn’t have any issues is incorrect? What if you need to figure out how to laugh in the face of adversity and make the most of the challenges you face? What if issues are just obstacles that need to be traversed and accepted as a normal part of life?
This presents a challenge
What if the situation you identify as a problem turns out not to be a problem after all? What if the answer isn’t as significant as you believe it to be? What if this turns out to be a blessing in disguise? And how would you go about making it happen?
I ought to be in good shape
We have a propensity to take our health for granted, yet we cannot promise that we will not get ill in the next day. What if your physical wellbeing is a gift, rather than the presumptive norm we assume it to be? Wouldn’t it give you a new perspective on how you should take care of your body?
At the very least, I’ll make it to the age of seventy
You probably take it for granted that you’ll have a long and healthy life, but what if that doesn’t happen? Isn’t it more of a gift than something you should take for granted to have the opportunity to live a long life? The fact of the matter is that some individuals pass away at a young age, which is both tragic and inevitable. But is it accurate to state that he passed away at too early of an age? It is more appropriate to mention that he passed away recently, don’t you think? Not too young, not too elderly, just right.
I must get married
Maybe, maybe not. Your interpretation is the only one that matters. It’s common knowledge that society and your parents have certain expectations of you, but that doesn’t imply you have to live up to those standards. These are often cultural standards or habits that have been conditioned.
Complaining is very natural
Complaining is almost always a pointless and destructive exercise in the ego of the complainer. You won’t benefit from it, and nothing will change as a result. It serves no purpose other than to bolster your ego and cause offence to other people. See what happens if you go a whole week without expressing any dissatisfaction with anything.
There is no problem with living in the past and reflecting on it
You probably think (too much) about things that have happened in the past. Everybody does. But are you aware that the past does not exist outside of your head? And are you aware that there is nothing you can do to make a difference in the situation? It is helpful to learn from your mistakes, but it is not helpful to linger on them.
It is necessary for me to be concerned about the future
It is impossible to completely avoid fretting about the future, yet doing so serves no useful purpose. Instead, you should focus on doing the best that you can in the here and now to prevent issues in the future.
I just will not be content till you ………..
You can still experience joy even if your life isn’t picture-perfect. The decision to be happy is one that must be made on a daily basis. You absolutely need to put it into practise since, as we’ve seen in the past, the things that are happening outside of your control won’t have a major impact on your level of happiness.
These are but a few instances of the presumptions that you could have. The purpose of this section is to demonstrate to you that the assumptions you make about the outside world are primarily responsible for your interpretations, as well as the feelings that these interpretations elicit in you. As a result, if you want to have more positive feelings, it is essential that you spend some time reevaluating your assumptions.
Conducting an analysis of your interpretations
As we have seen, your interpretation of events is founded on your expectations about how they will play out. The following set of questions is designed to assist you in understanding what I mean when I talk about interpretations.
- Do you believe that everything occurs for a purpose and choose to accept it, or
- Do you take the role of the victim?
- Do you think that temporary failures are only stepping stones that will lead you to success, or
- Do you throw in the towel the moment you experience your first significant obstacle?
- Do you waste your time attempting to fix things that just cannot be changed, or
- They are acceptable to you, right?
- Do you think that you were sent into this world for a purpose, or
- Do you go through life without any particular direction or goal in mind?
- Do you think that issues are terrible and that they should be avoided, or
- Do you think that they are an important component of living a full life?
Keep in mind that the decision individuals make about the meaning they assign to their experiences has a significant impact on whether or not they experience joy in their lives.
